The Dark Matters

  By the grace of the good Lord on September 25th 1980 at 5:32pm EST in the University of Florida’s Shands Hospital, I was born unto the surface this Earth. My conscious mind cannot recall the weather on that day but I have always assumed it was beautiful; sunny with a cool pleasant breeze that has made its way through the thick humidity & heat of my home state. This is what the weather has been like in my home state on September 25 th every year I can remember. The cool breeze which hasn’t been felt all summer finally makes its way to me. Its one of the things I like most about my birthday. For many years starting when I was in middle school, I’ve felt an uncontrollable sadness on my birthday that I cannot explain. Its a feeling like someone passed away or something was lost long ago on that day but I don’t know what it could be or why, nor can I put my finger on exactly what the emotion or thought is attached to. My memories from early childhood are hap...

    Tonight as you dream your dreams please know you amazing and worth something  much more than gold or diamond rings more precious than any queen or king. Tonight’s the night you’ll dream on wings seeing beautiful lovely things That dance and fly along while they sing. Do not worry about what tomorrow may bring Your eyes will close and then you’ll dream of queens with rings and shiny things that bling and sing a song that you like to sing Tonight you’re happy while you dream Tonight my dears you will dream epic dreams that mean something Kings searching for golden rings scared of what tomorrow may bring. This is the evening to dream your dreams. We can talk tomorrow about what they mean the kings and rings with wings and things.. Just remember that you are worth something Breathe sure and deep while you dream know you are beautiful and worth something remember what you hear, don’t forget what you see In the morning it will teach...

  Sundays      Sunday. The word and the day itself used to mean something different to me than it does now. It still means something, but when I was growing up, Sunday was a day to see my friends at the church I attended. I looked forward to seeing them and engaging in some sort of activity. When I was very young, I would often spend the day at a friend's house or have 1-2 friends over to my house in the woods. We’d do kid stuff and then return to church in the evening with our parents for the evening service. During the evening service, our youth group would get in some good games of Ultimate Frisbee, among other physically active games like volleyball, dodgeball, and basketball. Ultimate Frisbee and volleyball were our usual go-tos. Sunday afternoons were usually quiet, with parents napping or close to it. It's been years since I’ve felt my eyelids grow heavy while on a couch or in a recliner, with the TV lulling me to sleep. I don't have a TV in my apartment now, ...

An AI image from my imagination (made w/ Bazaart)   Hello glorious reader I hope this finds you well and I want you to know that even if you are in the SS, I do love you and I believe there is a solution to all of this that does not involve violence. The fact of the matter is I don't know where to begin. Given my background of drug use and antics combined with the subject matter I wish to address, I doubt anybody will see my posts because that's how its been going for me. Back in 2017 I would make a post on Instagram and if it was unique and cool subject matter, I would get anywhere from 100-1000 views, a ton of likes, some new followers. Now when I post on any social media, its a total media black out for me. Nobody see's my posts. I can't even use fucking dating apps with out getting some kind of man in the middle MITM attack. I've made bogus accounts pretending to be a female and sure enough, I can't even see my own profile. I guess the SS hac...